You're going to find out that I am no stranger to mental illness. I thought I'd share some person experiences with you all, some of our national facts and how you can help stop the stigma around mental illnesses over a series of blog posts because well let's be real it would be way to long for one.
In my own experience it's almost been exactly one whole year since I've been working on my mental health. Let me tell you this I'm a completely different person.
Ok, so lets start at the beginning, I wasn't always confident, let alone even have an ounce of confidence in my body, any and everyone always seemed to have it all figured out from hair, make up, career, parenting style you name it, I found it always made me so anxious. (Little did I know I suffered from a mental illness known as OCD and anxiety disorder which made me completely obsess over anything my mind got ahold of.) This was my biggest hurdle to even comprehend.
When I mentioned it to my doctor he said he'd refer me to a psychologist....K wait what?! I was an even bigger mess thinking even more was wrong with me then I had already thought. It was about a two week waiting period to get in and see him. The first time I was soooo nervous I could barely keep my cool. He asked generic questions and move into more specific ones after my evaluation. The first day I left my appointment all I could think was oh great now everyone's going to think I'm crazy. The stigma around mental illness is not a good one, and I surely fit the stereotype who believed this to be true. I didn't want to tell anyone not family or friends, I wanted to keep it hush hush in fears that they would judge me. I kept attending my weekly appointments mostly in secret. After a few weeks of visiting the psychologist we found the right medication and dosage level for me to be on, and let me tell you this it completely changed my life.
EVERY aspect literally, I became this whole different person someone who was genuine not trying to figure out how everyone else had it together or appear to. I finally had time to breath and not worry. This allowed me to make time for the things I found that I loved, it made me a better parent, wife, sister, daughter, and friend. I found my inner balance to be exact. I no longer suffer from panic attacks, I have been able to overcome a majority of my fears (ie. Swimming), I'm confident being exactly who I am, and I've never been happier.
As I said it's been almost exactly a year since I found the courage to admit I had a mental illness, let alone share it with the world. But I think it's important to share our struggles with each other so we know we aren't in this alone. It might be scary yes, it might feel like a defeat to admit it, or you might even be in denial about the possibility of having one, and that's ok. But in my own personal experience my mind began to cripple me and enabled me to be me. The real me.
Hope you guys enjoyed this post, it's a mix of my first blog post and the rest. Some how I managed to merge two posts (whoops) so here's the whole story. Let's get rid of the stigma around mental illness!
